I had been struggling with doubts and cog dis for a few months, hadn't been out in service for months and wife knew why. She had been very supportive the whole time.
One day we were at home, I was showing her some of the WT lies and she flat out asked me if I didn't want to be a JW anymore.. I said no.
Well.. She... Flipped out! I've never seen her look at me that way and haven't since. I've never seen her cry and sob like that. Her head was spinning with automatic cult brain nonsense, I could tell it just didn't compute. After a while she calmed down and we talked it through a bit. I agreed to take another long, hard objective look at things. She wanted me to speak with the elders, of course they could get it all cleared up cause it's the truth, right? After some talking she agreed that talking with the elders is a BAD idea.
Since then she has been great. She's still a JW, but was always kind of a badass one. She barely has a cult personality to begin with, and I honestly haven't seen it since that day. She never comments at the meetings, does max 3 hrs a month in service, misses over half the meetings.
I'm confident that she will leave the JWs with me, and I'm almost willing to wait in with her until she does. She just likes the pre packaged social life and doesn't want to mess up her relationship with her family. We don't talk about JW things often, but she does bring it up sometimes. She also still gets me to explain the JW doctrines that she doesn't understand.
If I could do it again I would have skipped that conversation altogether... The long game works better, and confronting the cult personality is almost always a sure failure.